Anger Management


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offcenter
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Anger Management

Postby offcenter » Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:06 pm



Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
and you just need to take it out on someone,
don't take it out on someone you know,
take it out on someone you don't know,
but that you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying
'Hello.'

I politely said,
'This is Chris.
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an a**h***!'
and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'a**h***' next to it,
and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an a**h***!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my theraputic 'a**h***'
calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
'NO!'
and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an a**h***!'
and hung up.

One day I was at the store,
getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,
but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
right after calling the first a**h***
(I had his number on speed dial,)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW a**h***, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .
It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked,
'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,
'Yes?'

I said,
'Don, you're an a**h***!'

Then I hung up,
and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two a**h***s to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called a**h*** #1.

He said,
'Hello.'

I said,
'You're an a**h***!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,
'Yeah!'

He screamed,
'Stop calling me,'

I said,
'Make me,'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'a**h***, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
a yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beemer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**h***,'
and hung up.

Then I called a**h*** #2.

He said,
'Hello?'

I said,
'Hello, a**h***,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered,
'Well, a**h***, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I was on my way over to 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax ..

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .
I got there just in time to watch two a**h***s
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.


George in Jersey.
99 Goldwing GL-1500 SE
76 Goldwing Gl-1000
77 Honda CT-90 "Trail 90"

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Sally
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Re: Anger Management

Postby Sally » Sat Nov 23, 2013 7:52 pm

That's really funny I think.. It sounds just like something I would pull.. I've had tellamarketer hang up on me.. HA HA HA.. One night I had the local paper call and ask if I had received my paper today? I said NO They said they had a deal three weeks for the price of one and bah bah bah after about 15 mins. I asked do you take food stamps I have no cash. I heard her actully ask her boss if they take food stamps.. The answer was NO. So I let her go on an on then I said well I could send you my HEAP check. She didn't know what heap was. I explained then told her I'd send check she could cash it send me my paper and keep the change.. She again asked her boss then they hung up on me.. Sally

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offcenter
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Re: Anger Management

Postby offcenter » Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:05 pm

LOL!! I hate telemarketers! LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:
George in Jersey.
99 Goldwing GL-1500 SE
76 Goldwing Gl-1000
77 Honda CT-90 "Trail 90"

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redial
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Location: Kapunda, SouthAustralia
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Re: Anger Management

Postby redial » Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:30 am

Thanks for posting that, it made my week!!! Even if it is only Monday.
Len in Kapunda

The world is not going to finish today, as it is already tomorrow in Australia and New Zealand, and other islands of foreign nations such as Guam and Samoa.

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Evilrick
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Re: Anger Management

Postby Evilrick » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:56 pm

I heard a rumor that those junk mails that come with the envelops that have "return postage paid" printed on them, really do have return postage. Someone said you can stick the envelope to a trash can or bag full of trash and it will get delivered. Sounds like a good way to stop junk mail. Though I've never tried this more than a few times, so I really don't know for sure. Just saying.
No matter where you go, there you are. It's not the destination that matters. Getting there safe does.

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themainviking
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Re: Anger Management

Postby themainviking » Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:40 pm

Evilrick wrote:Someone said you can stick the envelope to a trash can or bag full of trash and it will get delivered.


WOW, I have sent a whole lot of those back to the folks they came from, but never even thought to glue or tape them to a bag of trash. NEW ADVENTURE, HOORAY... :lol: :lol: :lol:
It ain't about the destination - it's all about the journey

ImageImage

User avatar
Evilrick
Posts: 57
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:57 pm
Location: Illinois
Motorcycle: 1984 GL1200A Aspencade
1977 750K (hot rod), still miss it sometimes.
650 Trump. 450 CB, 400 Suzi dirt & street, 2 or 3 360 Enduro Yamaha's, 400 TM Yamaha (dirt only), 350 Kaw, 125 Enduro Yamaha, even had an 106 Allstate when I was real young, Sears sold them about 50 yrs ago. Do I really need to list the rest?
Contact:

Re: Anger Management

Postby Evilrick » Tue Nov 25, 2014 11:07 pm

themainviking wrote:
Evilrick wrote:Someone said you can stick the envelope to a trash can or bag full of trash and it will get delivered.


WOW, I have sent a whole lot of those back to the folks they came from, but never even thought to glue or tape them to a bag of trash. NEW ADVENTURE, HOORAY... :lol: :lol: :lol:


May the adventures never end.. Have fun. Just make sure there is nothing it the bag that identifies where it came from. I also forgot to mention boxes, big boxes. Put a plastic bag inside the box so liquids don't leak.
No matter where you go, there you are. It's not the destination that matters. Getting there safe does.

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littlebeaver
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Re: Anger Management

Postby littlebeaver » Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:31 am

Ha ha ha ha good one....That was funny..... :lol: .. :lol:

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petesgoldwing
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Re: Anger Management

Postby petesgoldwing » Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:14 pm

Now that is real neat way to do things. I like that, it is so funny. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:




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