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Rob H
Posts: 296
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 7:41 am
Location: Muscat Oman
Motorcycle: 2000 1500 SE, XR 650, CBR 600, Harley FB, KLR 650, CBX 750 Cafe Racer, Z1000 Eddie Lawson.

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Postby Rob H » Sat Sep 19, 2015 2:11 pm



ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
I was driving down the road when I saw a lady standing by her car.
When I pulled over to see if I could help she turned around holding a rabbit.
She explained that she had run over the rabbit and she thought it was going to die.
I so wanted to help her I went back to my car and came back with a can of spray.
I sprayed some in the rabbits' mouth and it twitched its' head a little.
I waited a little while and sprayed some more in its mouth and it twitched its head a couple of times.
Not much later I sprayed more in its mouth and the rabbit sprang from her arms and ran to the fence by the field, stopped, turned around and waived its' paw at us. We watched it run 50 ft., stop, turn and waive its paw at us.
The lady looked at me in amazement and said, "WHAT WAS THAT YOU GAVE THAT RABBIT?"
I replied, "Oh just a little hair rejuvenator with permanent waive."


****

The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed.
“Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes.”

****

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town’s preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

*****

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? “The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize. “How?" asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."



A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."



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