getting old


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actionpack
Posts: 359
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:29 pm
Location: hale , mi.
Motorcycle: 1985 gl1200a

getting old

Postby actionpack » Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:49 pm



Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
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Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
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One more.. .. .! Nope!!



Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh !!


Image

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petesgoldwing
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 6:42 pm
Location: Enola, Pa.
Motorcycle: 1982 GL1100A Aspencade

Re: getting old

Postby petesgoldwing » Sat Jul 11, 2015 4:10 pm

This are all great ones. (what are they ) :lol: :lol:

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roadwanderer2
Posts: 4103
Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:03 am
Location: sweetwater, Tennessee
Motorcycle: 83 GL1100A aspencade, previously owned, 1981 honda GL500i silverwing interstate, 1974 yamaha xs400, 1974 Honda cb450 twin cam, 1983 honda vt30, 1982 honda 700 shadow, 1972 cb750four, and my first bike, a brand new 1982 honda CM400e. and a new to me 1986 GL1200 aspencade SEi
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Re: getting old

Postby roadwanderer2 » Sat Jul 11, 2015 8:21 pm

those are really funny.

stuart.

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Rob H
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Motorcycle: 2000 1500 SE, XR 650, CBR 600, Harley FB, KLR 650, CBX 750 Cafe Racer, Z1000 Eddie Lawson.

Re: getting old

Postby Rob H » Mon Jul 13, 2015 11:00 am

Brilliant! :D :D :D :D :D

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Jeff_65
Posts: 36
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:56 am
Location: Hershey Pa
Motorcycle: 1983 gl 1100 interstate

Re: getting old

Postby Jeff_65 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:02 pm

Ohhh dear lord, noooo !!!!
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Jeff 8-)

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roadwanderer2
Posts: 4103
Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:03 am
Location: sweetwater, Tennessee
Motorcycle: 83 GL1100A aspencade, previously owned, 1981 honda GL500i silverwing interstate, 1974 yamaha xs400, 1974 Honda cb450 twin cam, 1983 honda vt30, 1982 honda 700 shadow, 1972 cb750four, and my first bike, a brand new 1982 honda CM400e. and a new to me 1986 GL1200 aspencade SEi
Contact:

Re: getting old

Postby roadwanderer2 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:12 pm

if that's what getting old is like, shoot me now lol.

stuart.

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Jeff_65
Posts: 36
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:56 am
Location: Hershey Pa
Motorcycle: 1983 gl 1100 interstate

Re: getting old

Postby Jeff_65 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:38 pm

this is too much, reminds me of my folks. LOL
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Jeff 8-)

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roadwanderer2
Posts: 4103
Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:03 am
Location: sweetwater, Tennessee
Motorcycle: 83 GL1100A aspencade, previously owned, 1981 honda GL500i silverwing interstate, 1974 yamaha xs400, 1974 Honda cb450 twin cam, 1983 honda vt30, 1982 honda 700 shadow, 1972 cb750four, and my first bike, a brand new 1982 honda CM400e. and a new to me 1986 GL1200 aspencade SEi
Contact:

Re: getting old

Postby roadwanderer2 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:46 pm

OMG, im LAMO.

stuart.

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Jeff_65
Posts: 36
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:56 am
Location: Hershey Pa
Motorcycle: 1983 gl 1100 interstate

Re: getting old

Postby Jeff_65 » Fri Aug 28, 2015 3:01 pm

LMAO, these crack me up.
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Jeff 8-)

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roadwanderer2
Posts: 4103
Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:03 am
Location: sweetwater, Tennessee
Motorcycle: 83 GL1100A aspencade, previously owned, 1981 honda GL500i silverwing interstate, 1974 yamaha xs400, 1974 Honda cb450 twin cam, 1983 honda vt30, 1982 honda 700 shadow, 1972 cb750four, and my first bike, a brand new 1982 honda CM400e. and a new to me 1986 GL1200 aspencade SEi
Contact:

Re: getting old

Postby roadwanderer2 » Fri Aug 28, 2015 3:39 pm

:o :lol:.

stuart.

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Slick Willi
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2015 9:36 pm
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Motorcycle: 1987 GL1200I Interstate

Re: getting old

Postby Slick Willi » Sat Sep 05, 2015 3:28 pm

Little boy jumps in grandpas lap and asks, grandpa, do you speak frog? Grandpa asks him, what are you talking about boy? Boy says, well, grandma said we're going to Disney world when you croke :lol:
Slick Willi 8-)

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Jeff_65
Posts: 36
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:56 am
Location: Hershey Pa
Motorcycle: 1983 gl 1100 interstate

Re: getting old

Postby Jeff_65 » Sat Sep 05, 2015 3:49 pm

:shock: :o :lol:
Some good stuff there.
Jeff 8-)

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Jeff_65
Posts: 36
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:56 am
Location: Hershey Pa
Motorcycle: 1983 gl 1100 interstate

Re: getting old

Postby Jeff_65 » Sat Sep 05, 2015 3:52 pm

These little comic strip remind me of my folks. LOL
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Jeff 8-)

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roadwanderer2
Posts: 4103
Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:03 am
Location: sweetwater, Tennessee
Motorcycle: 83 GL1100A aspencade, previously owned, 1981 honda GL500i silverwing interstate, 1974 yamaha xs400, 1974 Honda cb450 twin cam, 1983 honda vt30, 1982 honda 700 shadow, 1972 cb750four, and my first bike, a brand new 1982 honda CM400e. and a new to me 1986 GL1200 aspencade SEi
Contact:

Re: getting old

Postby roadwanderer2 » Sat Sep 05, 2015 10:12 pm

that's hysterical.

stuart.

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OldZX11Rider
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Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2015 9:25 am
Location: Garfield, Arkansas
Motorcycle: 1994 Honda GL1500 Goldwing SE

Re: getting old

Postby OldZX11Rider » Tue Nov 10, 2015 9:18 pm

LMAO! Try to tell my wife the jokes, and get all choked up trying not to laugh before telling her the punch line.
Anyone else look at their middle aged kids, then think " I'm not old enough to have kids that old" then you check your age and then think "we'll I guess I am?"
A few years ago, I was riding a 1994 Kawasaki ZX11 Ninja. More than once I was told I was too old to be riding that kind of bike. Now I have a 1500 Goldwing. I love my Goldwing but when moving around in a parking lot, it scares me more than that Ninja ever did!
I may be retired but I ain't dead!


For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain:


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